Change is good. Usually, but it’s not always welcome. There have been a lot of changes in the last 19 months. Yes, I’ve counted. This week as I shared meals with my friends who have given me so much and begin packing my belongings from the last 30 years in this state, I found myself sitting still. Thinking. Dreaming. Reflecting. Being. Breathing.

I don’t often share my story. We all have them, some charmed, some not. The co-author of my last story tore the book up. Some demons can become too powerful to fight. I own I was partly to blame for our demise. Still, the pure grief of failure often took my breath away. For those of you that know me well, breath is a gift every day.

Breath. It is the essence of life. I’ve been blessed to deliver other people’s children. It is an amazing feeling, to give breath to a little human and welcome it to the world. It can be bittersweet as some of those times, those few breaths may be the only ones they ever experience. For others, that first wailing cry is the best sound ever. When we are in pain, when we are taking our last, when we realize we met “the one;” that which we take for granted, can get taken away. I studied Karate for 6 years. In Karate, the exhale brings more power than the inhale. It can break things. When we yell at each other, that exhale, can breaks things. Too often we have forgotten how to count to 10 before speaking in pain or anger. Learning to control the power of the breath is where the lesson comes from. People who practice Yoga and Meditation understand this. There were days last year I had to use every ounce of will to keep the grief from taking my breath away. I thank those who taught me to breathe and I am better for it. In meditation I have found compassion, grace and acceptance for those who have hurt me most. We all have our own story, mine is at peace.

The most significant lesson learned is that one should practice kindness above all things, in all things. Shed the ego and learn to find a middle ground and accept the ones you chose to have in your life. Love them, appreciate them and encourage their spirit daily. This year has taught me to remain present and open to the future. It has taught me to be gentle and live purposefully. I have forced myself out of my ability to be alone to explore some great new friendships and tend to, and nurture old ones. I have had the privilege of being in the company of amazing people who have reminded me that I am beautiful, intelligent and desirable and that each story is a lesson. I have found a new relationship with myself, my family and my tribe. I am looking forward to knowing you all more deeply. Thank you for just being. You help me breathe easier each day and I am grateful.