Let’s be honest—awareness sounds really noble in theory. Cue the calming yoga music and the soft lighting. But in real life? It usually shows up wearing holey sweatpants, holding a mirror we didn’t ask for, saying, “Hey there, let’s talk about why you keep holding space for people who can’t hold it back? Or why do you keep avoiding and shutting out those that can.” But that’s an essay for another day. The point is, awareness doesn’t knock gently—it kicks the damn door open and drops your patterns on the kitchen floor like junk mail.

But here’s the good news: awareness is freedom. And not the “flowers and unicorns” kind. It’s the gritty, liberating, “Oh wow, I actually have a choice here” kind of freedom. It’s like getting your first pair of glasses and realizing that the world wasn’t actually blurry—your lens just needed an update.

Life, as it turns out, is a winding, beautiful, muddy hike through the woods. Sometimes we’re dancing through wildflowers and ferns, and other times we’re face-planting into the same emotional pothole for the 14th time in a row. (Spoiler: we all have potholes. Some are just labeled “control issues,” others are called “avoidance disguised as chill.” and in my case, “being the cool not needy chick.”)

But the moment we see it and really sit with it—that’s the game-changer. That’s awareness. Suddenly, we catch ourselves mid-eye-roll or mid-ghosting or mid-“I’m fine” (when we are so NOT fine), and a tiny voice whispers, “You don’t have to keep doing this. You have every reason to feel hurt and pissed.”

I’ll share that it’s nuclear level onerous to unlearn the whole “don’t rock the boat” thing—especially when you were raised to be the emotional cruise director. Like, “Sure, I’m drowning, but at least the water’s  calm for everyone else!” Breaking those patterns? No fucking joke.

Awareness doesn’t come in like some magical fix-it fairy. It’s more like your phone’s passive-aggressive update: “Hey, there’s a better version of this… if you’re ready to feel kinda uncomfortable and maybe talk about the thing you’ve been avoiding with your person.” And you’re like, “Cool cool, I was actually just planning to emotionally disassociate tonight, but sure, let’s do this.” That mirror shows up again, holding eye contact like it knows too much. Because it does. But it also means you’re waking up.  The good stuff starts when you stop ghosting your own growth.

From that place, we start making different choices. Not because we have to, but because it starts to feel harder not to. Once we know better, the old ways don’t quite fit anymore. They’re like our favorite comfortable shoes that are falling apart. Sure, we can keep wearing them, but now we notice the blisters.

We are the common denominator in our lives. That’s equal parts terrifying and empowering. But it means we also hold the pen. We don’t have to stay stuck on the same page. Awareness turns on the light—and once the light’s on, you can’t unsee the mess you made, but you can start cleaning it up.

So here’s to waking up—not in a perfectly filtered, Instagram-glow-up kind of way, but in a brave, often messy, ridiculously human way.