Remember those books where you got to pick which page you turned to next? Life is basically one long game of “choose your own adventure,” except sometimes the options are life-changing and sometimes it’s just “should I order fries or a salad?” (btw: it’s always fries). Whether big or small, our decisions land better when we don’t let just one part of us run the show. The heart alone can be a drama queen, and brain alone can be a buzzkill. Together? Unstoppable.

So, before you make a choice, pause. Take a breath. (Yes, you actually have to breathe, I’m not just being my woo-woo spiritually centered weirdo here. There’s actually research studies about the power of box breathing). Ask yourself: what’s my heart saying? What’s my head saying? Then mash those answers together like you’re making emotional guacamole, just don’t forget the lime juice—balance.

Because if you’re only feelings-first, you might end up doing something wildly fun but wildly reckless (hello, tattoo of your ex’s initials). If you’re only logic-first, you risk building a life that looks great on Insta but feels like eating plain oatmeal forever. Balance keeps you from either disaster.

And look, not every decision needs a full-on retreat to the mountains. Although sometimes we absolutely have to do this to get away from the noise. But sometimes you can just vibe-check yourself and move on. When it’s big? Give yourself permission to hit pause, just don’t allow yourself to build a bunker to escape making a choice. Not making a choice is also a choice. Just let your heart and head have their little boxing match, then wait until they both stop sulking. That’s when you’ll know you’ve landed on a decision that actually feels good and makes sense.

Honor both the soft parts and the smart parts of you. That’s the kind of decision-making that feels more like living than just surviving. I get it, I see the appeal. The bunker is a safe space but plain oatmeal needs the butter and honey.